My Daughter Just Told Me She’s Gay… What Now?
A great resource sheet for parents whose child has just came out to them — what do you do now that your child has come out to you? How do you cope? This is a true story by Linda Ma, written after her daughter had come out to her.
Is it our fault that our child is gay?
Although parents may feel responsible for their children’s sexual orientation, an individual’s sexual orientation is nobody’s fault. Parents blame themselves for a variety of reasons, including failing to provide the proper family environment or raising children with the wrong methods. Some single parents even blame themselves for having a different family structure.
Ultimately, parents’ actions have no influence on a child’s sexual orientation. A person’s attraction to another develops naturally and does not change due to one’s family environment. At the end of the day, self-blame originates from parents’ love for and worries about their children. If you can listen to what your child has to say, understand his or her perspective and situation, and, through open dialogue, you can come closer to your child and understand that the feeling of self-blame is not warranted.
This is a great fact sheet answering some common questions parents have after their child comes out to them.
Is being gay abnormal or unnatural?
For those who are learning about lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people for the first time, this is a very helpful fact sheet answering basic and common questions from the API community, including:
- Is sexual orientation a choice?
- Can people who are gay change their sexual orientation?
- Can people who are gay raise children? Is this going to negatively impact the children
San Gabriel Valley API PFLAG
San Gabriel API PFLAG is a organization that promotes health and well-being of Asian and Pacific Islander parents and friends of LGBT people through support, education, and advocacy. Unlike other PFLAGS, this organization uniquely addresses the culture-specific needs of the Asian-American, Pacific-Islander, East Asian, and South Asian people by fostering inter-generational dialogue, and when needed, providing language assistance.
They strive to meet the needs of our API families with LGBT children and/or our API LGBT with the following programs:
- Monthly Support Group
- Afternoon Tea with Asian Parents (ATAP), a shared-culture smaller group gathering
- Family Circle gathering that comprise of solely the immediate family and/or extended family
- Resources (online, printed copies, parent/LGBT/ally contact network)
- Ongoing advocacy work through event participation and continuing collaboration with local, state-wide, and national API LGBT organizations
*Materials are currently being finalized.