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Carolyn Lee Kidd

Every school has kids who are donned: The Drama Kids. Needless to say I am one of them, but at my school, the drama kids, the guys at least,do not exactly fit into the stereotypical flamboyantly gay stereotype that seems to plagued the media, and to some extent Broadway itself. Rather the drama kids at my school were the exact opposite, homophobic kids who were scared to admit that gayness is not a mental illness,but rather a part of life, something that should not be a burden.

Needless to say, when I joined the Drama Club at my school, I was not yet ready to face the utter blindness people have to a community of perfectly good people. The things that the kids said to my best friend, who is an out-of-the-closet lesbian, and me, an ‘in-the-closet’ lesbian were shocking, and downright cruel. To my best friend, Tatiana, it was something that she considered ‘normal,’ as she had faced the bullying since middle school. Me on the other hand knew that bullying, especially to the extent that these kids were going to was downright wrong—morally wrong.

While I did not act on this knowledge as soon as I probably should have, I made it clear to the other kids, subtly at first, that it was not okay to call Tatiana a fag, a slut, or any of the other horrendous names they made up for her. Then, one day, fed up with the insensibility of the other kids, I made the decision to kiss her.

Yes. This was at a cast party, after one of the shows, where I was probably not thinking clearly, but to quite honest, it was the best decision I had ever made in my entire life. While I did realize at that moment that I too would have to come out, I realized something else, something greater than myself. I realized what it meant to face the wrath of others, and how to stand up for not only myself, but for the entire gay community as a whole.

Through that one simple act of rebelling against what the other kids thought was morally wrong, I broke through the walls of some of the other kids who realized that being gay was not something to be ashamed of, but rather something that can be spread. Especially since after that, several kids who I sort of guessed were LGBTQ youth came out of the closet, not to all, but to a view, I realized how much a simple act can weigh, especially after realizing that the power of love is not something to be ashamed of, no matter who you are.

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Carolyn is a Korean Adoptee who grew up in the Washington D.C. area. However, she is currently located in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where she is attending Duquesne University of the Holy Spirit. Carolyn also wishes for all youth to know that it does get better.

Categories: LGBTQ

2 thoughts on “Love is Louder

  • Kim

    I think, that was the bravest action of all. To us, in Asian family, or well at least for me, it’s hard to come out and tell the truth. Telling the truth about being a lesbian is like against nature, against religion, culture, norms, and a lot of things that’s left to blame. Thank you for sharing such a great life experience, Carolyn. One day I wish I would be as brave as you are.

  • Does UVM have any community for aseuxal identities? Very exciting question. While UVM does not currently have any student groups or organizations specific to Aesexuality, according to the most recent campus climate study, more students identify as Aesexual than Gay or Lesbian. For those who are not familiar with the term, I would recommend you check out AVEN (Aesexuality Visibility and Education Network) online. There are misconceptions that aseuxal people just want to be left alone, but as AVEN puts it, Aesexual: A person who does not experience sexual attraction. Asexual people have the same emotional needs as everybody else and are just as capable of forming intimate relationships.~Chris

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